


Waves Of This Feeling

by AetherAria



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: (mentioned. POST panic attack really), Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Gentleness, Lizard Kissin' Tuesday (Penumbra Podcast), Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Panic Attacks, Second Citadel (Penumbra Podcast)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 04:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21220904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AetherAria/pseuds/AetherAria
Summary: Typically, Rilla is there to help ease Damien down after one of his attacks. Today, it is only Arum with Damien as he recovers.





	Waves Of This Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes ya have a panic attack and need to project hard onto your fictional faves. sometimes it just be like that. happy lizard kissin'!!! please have some soft, please.
> 
> Title from the song On + Off, by Maggie Rogers.

The paroxysm of panic is sharp and rushing and sudden and violent- and then it is gone, and Damien is left shaking and tearful, hollow and exhausted, with one hand pressed over his eyes and the other-

The other held by a careful, attentive claw.

“Has the worst passed, now?”

Damien nods, the gentle warmth of Arum’s tone working to ease the leftover tension in Damien’s shoulders. The monster is… remarkably suited to the task of easing him down after such attacks, Damien thinks. He slips into a voice that is firm, calm, affectionate- _hypnotic_, almost, and it is obvious to Damien that Arum has noted the words that Rilla uses to comfort and soothe, that he has woven them into his own strategy for such moments.

“Will it overwhelm, if I hold you?” Arum continues in that low, soft voice.

Damien shakes his head quickly, squeezes Arum’s hand, whispers, “Please, oh-”

He needs not ask again, though, because Arum’s arms are already winding around him, drawing him carefully close, pulling him against Arum’s chest where his head can rest over Arum’s heart, where he can hear the low rumble of the purr emanating from his inhuman love. He is circled by those four strong arms, housed and held, skin to scale with a monster and safe, _so safe_-

“There,” Arum says, soft and content. “Now I have you, little poet, and that is a _much_ more agreeable arrangement, I think. You fit so well against me, don’t you? A creature of such softness and warmth; I would much prefer to never let you leave my clutches.”

“Arum,” Damien breathes against scales, and certainly he is flushing dark while two of Arum’s hands caress his hair, drawing delicate claws through his curls and scraping light, tingling lines across his scalp. “I am sorr-”

“I will hear no apologies, Damien,” Arum warns mildly. “If there were anything to forgive, perhaps, but you have done no harm this day. None.”

“If…” Damien hesitates, but Arum’s steady presence all around him is gentling the querulous fear that lives within him, is making him feel merely warm, merely tired. “If you say so, my lily,” he sighs.

“I do say so indeed,” Arum says, an edge of playful smugness on his tongue.

A few breaths come quiet, then, and Damien knows that he could so easily slip into sleep like this, with claws in his hair and a snout nuzzling his temple and the strange music of a monster’s pulse in his ear. He is safe, here. He is safe. He has done no harm this day, and he is safe, and Arum will hold him until he can believe that more easily, until he can tread upon that belief and know it will hold his weight.

“I love you, honeysuckle,” Arum murmurs above him, and Damien’s heart swoops and soars and he needs to press his eyes tight closed again. Oh, and Damien’s foolish mind cannot possibly deny that love just now, not with those arms around him, not with that tremble of emotion just barely beneath Arum’s words. “It is unfortunate that you are at times unable to see the truth of your value, and the affection you naturally spur in others. However,” his arms tighten, “my vision is far superior to your own, of course. I can see well enough for the both of us, and what I see when I look at you-”

Arum cuts off and Damien can hear the sharp little way he exhales before he leans back, just enough to place his hand on Damien’s cheek, to lift his face until their eyes can meet.

“Honeysuckle,” he says. “You… you are _incredible_. No, no- do not look away. Please, honeysuckle. Look at me.”

Damien meets the intensity of that gaze again, and love in shades of violet is sharp and warm and endless. A sea of petals, deep velvet dark that Damien would willingly drown in.

“You cannot see yourself as I do, honeysuckle, so I will tell you as often as you need hear it said. You are so beautiful, so brilliant, so precious to me. You are…” Arum’s knife-sharp smile goes soft, and he ducks his head, pressing his forehead to Damien’s with a sigh. “Regardless of the lies your mind conjures. Regardless of your doubts. You are beloved. You are so entirely, desperately loved.”

Damien could very well cry again. His heart feels like a river flooding, the bank overwhelmed and awash, too much feeling, and Arum’s hands and Arum’s words and Arum’s love are the endless rain, filling him to bursting. He could drown here, too, were Arum not holding him so carefully close. He is the rain and the air both, the rushing and the relief.

There is no room left in Damien, just now, for those demons of doubt and deceit. No other monsters may molest him, not while his own monster prowls so sweetly at his edges. Damien sighs, and smiles, and loves, and Arum holds him safe and calm and sweet.

“Have… have I proven an adequate substitute for our Amaryllis, honeysuckle?” Arum mutters after a long moment, hesitant, and Damien blinks, pulling back enough to see the subtle nerves on his reptilian face. “I- I know that Amaryllis is far more… _practiced_ in this sort of… more practiced in comforting you, than I am.”

Damien laughs, short and shocked, and Arum’s shoulders hunch for only a moment before Damien hugs him tighter, leaning that last inch closer so he may press a kiss at the edge of Arum's mouth. “You- oh, darling creature,” Damien says, and he is drowning and saved in one moment, rushing and relief. His beast and his beloved, more than he could have ever dreamed. “Oh _Arum_, you were absolutely _perfect_.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Waves Of This Feeling](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24937675) by [AetherAria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AetherAria/pseuds/AetherAria)


End file.
